Can someone turn this into french for me please? Warning: Bad language involved.?

Me and a friend are in this little contest with each other and well... dont ask. Anyway, can someone translate the following or as close to the following as possible into french for me please?



*And yes I know about the stupid english-french translator websites and those things are never correct.



1: Wrong fu*king time to mess with me.

2: I'll stab your jugular and slit your c0ck sucking throat.



Please and Thankyou?Can someone turn this into french for me please? Warning: Bad language involved.?
If you are not twelve yet, you are too young to be allowed on YA.Can someone turn this into french for me please? Warning: Bad language involved.?
1. putain de temps pour gaspiller avec moi



2. Je vais te poignarder dans la jugulaire et la fente de la gorge qui suces de bite



um... goodluck?Can someone turn this into french for me please? Warning: Bad language involved.?
When you get into slang, there is a lot of variety depending on where French is spoken.



Which version do you want?
Oooohhh, Pardon my French....please...!!!